


Dangerous Things That Come At Night

by kiwisandwich (panconkiwi)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, M/M, Monsters, Overstimulation, Rough Sex, There's some violent stuff in here but it's all consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 17:50:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15272970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panconkiwi/pseuds/kiwisandwich
Summary: Taako believed in real things, like money, fame, and subscription counts, no matter how much they seemed to elude him.But cryptids? Monsters that lurk in forests, waiting for dumb tourists to kill and eat mercilessly? He wasn't that easy to scare. Not even when one actually found him.





	Dangerous Things That Come At Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asmodeus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asmodeus/gifts).



> Based on the prompt: [“You’re a bloodthirsty cryptid/ghost/mythical creature and I’m a skeptic so I’m starting to think you mean it sexually when you say you’re gonna tear me limb from limb”](https://calledbones.tumblr.com/post/174358921999/need-au-ideas-but-arent-about-that-angst-life-dw)
> 
> Do you ever try to come up with some context for porn and end up with a setting you'd actually like to explore in the long term? I mean, this is a oneshot, but who knows. You just enjoy the monster sex.
> 
>  **CW for some painful stuff.** All of this is consensual but remember Kravitz is still a literal monster.  
> 

Many things could be said about Taako. Good or bad, it depended on who you asked. Right now, things leaned towards charming, creative and adventurous, or at least that’s what he himself thought while walking through the woods in search of a nice picture for Instagram.

Now, the people back at the village? They thought Taako a careless city boy with a death wish and no brain, and some of those things were true. But, please, keeping away from one of the best looking places he had ever seen just because it was full of “bloodthirsty monsters”? Taako was many things, but he was no gullible tourist. He was an internet personality (to be), and nothing could get in the way of an influencer and his likes.

Oh, this light was good. There was a spot ahead, up in the mountain, where a cascade hit the ground around flowers and rainbows and all that gorgeous shit. But that was at least an hour of walk ahead, and uphill. Taako looked down, past his skirt and mismatched socks, and reconsidered choice in shoes. It was a stylish pair of sneakers, the kind that came with hidden heels on the inside. They were the closest thing he had to trekking shoes in his wardrobe and something told him they wouldn’t be of much help.

Taako shrugged and kept going, but not before taking a selfie in front of a bush of dahlias.

The way to the top wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t too hard either. More than once Taako had to stop to catch his breath after a climb, because he was still in no shape to go trekking, but it provided him with more opportunities for pictures. Right now, he was sitting atop of a fallen tree, munching on a cereal bar while browsing his photo album. Damn, all of them were good, how would he choose which to post? Every single one, yeah, that seemed reasonable-

There was a crack behind him, like a branch breaking. Taako turned around, but there was nothing there.

Of course right then, the words of the people at the village came to his mind, _Nobody goes inside that forest and comes back unscarred, and those who go at night don’t even return._

He brushed that thought aside. Maybe it was just a bird, or a mouse, or an ocelot, a big cat known for tearing its prey into pieces and being _real_.

Suddenly, Taako didn’t feel so adventurous anymore.

He looked up to the cascade, still shimmering beautifully. In a couple hours the sun would set, and some of its rays were already lighting up the surface. _Fuck, that is pretty_. But was a couple likes worth the risk?

“It’s a bit dangerous going alone in the forest, don’t you think?”

Taako almost jumped out of his skin, and literally jumped out of his sitting spot, tripping on a root and falling. But his body didn’t hit the floor, Taako realized, because a strong set of arms was holding him up. And attached to them, mere inches from his face, was the hottest guy he had ever seen.

“Woah there,” said the handsome man, “you gotta be careful around here.”

“Y-yeah,” was Taako’s very smart answer.

The man helped him up, letting go of Taako much earlier than he would’ve liked. “Are you a tourist? No one comes to this side of the woods these days.”

Taako snapped out of his hot-guy induced daze and held out his hand, the one that wasn’t holding the cereal bar. “I’m Taako,” he said, “you know, from YouTube?”

The man took his hand and shook it wearily. “Kravitz, and I’m afraid I’m not familiar with this YouTube thing you speak of?”

“I mean, I’m not famous _yet_ , but it’s a matter of time, trust me.”

The man, Kravitz, laughed.  Oh, he had a pretty smile too. “If you say so.” He let go of Taako’s hold, but not without a firm squeeze. Man, why weren’t guys like that around the city anymore? “You don’t seem to be lost, what brought you here?”

“Well, what else? Look at that view,” said Taako as he pointed to the cascade. “‘Cha boy was thinking of getting a couple pictures over there.”

“Pictures? You have a camera with you?” Kravitz asked with such surprise Taako couldn’t help to laugh.

“Hah, yeah, in my phone,” and he took it it of his pocket to make a point of it. “Don’t you people know about these?”

That seemed to be a good enough explanation for Kravitz. “Oh! Right, cell phones. We don’t really use them around here, the signal is pretty bad as you’ve probably seen.”

Taako ate the last of his snack and crushed the aluminum paper in one hand, then said, “Hm, you’ve got a point there,” and stuffed the trash in one of his pockets.

Kravitz was looking at him the whole time, an unreadable expression on his face, but then he smiled at him like nothing had happened and said, “If you are going up, mind if I join you? My cabin is up there, too, and it’s not everyday I get to share the climb with a friend.”

“Oh, so you are this forest’s ranger or something like that?”

“Something like that, yes.” Kravitz started walking, but instead of taking the route Taako intended to follow, he went through the side. “This way is longer, but the ground is more stable. You can see there’s a better defined path, too.”

“Fine by me,” said Taako, who was never above taking a detour with hot strangers.

On the way up, Taako carried on with his quest for the perfect forest pic. Now that Kravitz was there with him, he could try poses and angles a simple selfie wouldn’t allow.

“Yo, Krav, do me a favor and take a picture of me next to this huge-ass boulder.”

“Sure,” Kravitz turned the phone around, a little confused. “Which button do I press?”

“The white circle on the screen,” said Taako, not even making an effort to hide his amusement. “Do you want me to show you how?”

“I think I got it…,” he stood still for a moment, then handed the phone back to Taako. “Did it work?”

Taako browsed his photo album and found not one, but three new pictures of him and the boulder. “Congratulations, Krav, you are officially a millennial.”

“Is that good?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Then, an idea came to Taako’s mind. “Say, how about we try the frontal camera, do you think you can master the ancient art of selfies?” A bonding experience _and_ he got a selfie with a cute guy out of it. Smooth.

Or so he thought. Kravitz walked back, he looked _horrified_ at the idea. “I don’t get along with cameras.”

“Oh, I’m sure the camera will love you-“

“We should keep going,” Kravitz cut him, "there’s still a long way ahead.”

Taako tried to say something else on his defense, but Kravitz walked fast, and in a matter of seconds he was already a good distance ahead of him. _Smooth as fuck, Taako._

In the end, the hike was longer than Taako had foreseen. By the time they made it to the top the sun had already set, and with it left any chance for Taako to take his perfect photo.

“Ugh, I can’t believe all that climb was for nothing,” he said, then immediately regretted this when he remembered he was not alone. Taako coughed as he put his phone back in his pocket and faced the cascade again. “I mean, I guess it was worth it from the sight alone.”

Despite that, Kravitz didn’t seem to mind his comment. “It takes your breath away, right?” He said. He looked down at the forest not of awe, like Taako felt, but almost adoration.

“You really love this place.”

Kravitz smiled at him. “It’s my home.”

 _Home, huh. Must feel nice._ Mere feet away was a cabin, smallish but cute. Maybe it was just the privileged location, but Taako could still see why anyone would chose to live this far from civilization.

Taako’s own house gave him as much nostalgia as the hotel room he was currently staying at during this trip, and he had barely spent an hour in there tops after he arrived. He still had some stuff to unpack.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to come back tomorrow.” Taako said as he stretched his arms; after a satisfying _crack_ he lowered them again. “Thanks for the help on the way up.”

“Wait.” Kravitz put a hand over Taako’s shoulder and, sweet angels above, smiled at him. “How about you come inside so I can make your climb worth the effort to get here?”

Taako stared at Kravitz wide eyed. _Holy shit,_ that’s _smooth as fuck_. Trying to be equally charming, Taako put on his best half-lidded smile. “How so, hot stuff?”

“I can’t let you go after all that work without a cup of tea.”

Taako’s smile dropped. “Oh you meant like- I mean, yeah, I’d love that,” he said, and then laughed awkwardly to hide his disappointment.

The cabin looked as cute on the inside. There really wasn’t much inside save from a kitchen, the counter, and a couch in front of a fireplace, plus a couple doors for what Taako assumed were the bedroom and bathroom. A lonely light bulb lit up the room with a dim light, giving it that extra rustic aesthetic.

“You can sit while I boil some water. Do you like cookies?”

“I love cookies!”

Five minutes later they were both sitting at the counter, The tray of cookies was already halfway gone by Taako’s hand. “Uh, whoops. I didn’t think I was this hungry, sorry.” He pushed the tray in Kravitz direction. 

Kravitz shook his head. “No, please. These are for you.”

“Well, if you insist,” and Taako ended up eating them all on his own.

But the real star of the day was the tea. One sip and Taako felt all his aches dim for a blissful moment. “Hachi machi, this is tea is something else.”

“I’m glad you like it, I picked everything myself from this very forest.”

“You must tell me about everything you used, this would be wonderful for my cooking channel.”

“I’m not sure you can get them anywhere else, most of these are endemic species.”

“Then I’ll make sure to pick up some on my way out.”

Kravitz was about to take a sip from his cup when Taako said that. He eyed the window for a second, which is why Taako expected him to say something about these fantastic herbs and where to find them. But what he said instead was, “Why don’t you tell me more about this cooking channel of yours?”

And who was Taako to say no to that? He went on about how he was great at entertaining and cooking, so of course he had to make a career on something that mixed both.

In all that time, Kravitz just listened politely, but if the look on his face was any indication, he was _very_ interested in what Taako had to say. With an audience like that, Taako could keep talking for hours.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have hours, but by the time he remembered that, night had already fallen. “Wait, shit, what time is it?” He got up from the table and walked to the window, but beyond the light of the cabin itself, everything outside was pitch black.  “Ah, whoops. I really should’ve paid more attention.”

He didn’t hear when Kravitz got up. “That’s too bad,” he said next to him, and fuck, he almost made Taako jump again. His eyes were unusually bright, or was the room’s light even dimmer?

“How bad?” Asked Taako.

“Didn’t the people at the village warn you?” Kravitz leaned over, so close, it made Taako shudder. “There are monsters in this forest.”

Ah, so _that’s_ where it was going. Kravitz really was on another level of smoothness. “Okay, you dork, I’ll stay the night.”

“... What?”

Taako wrapped one hand around Kravitz’s waist. “Look, my man, I’m super into you, and don’t act like you haven’t been staring at me like you are hungry. It’s fine, I dig that, and I dig _you_ , but I’d rather we skip right to the action. This whole will-they-won’t-they isn’t my thing.”

And then, something unexpected, something _cute_ happened: Kravitz blushed. “I- That’s- _You are getting the wrong idea_.”

Taako snickered, because this one man couldn’t be hot _and_ adorable. “Fine, sorry, you don’t seem the type to rush things. I’m just laying it here, ‘cha boy is into anything you’ve got.”

“I don’t think you understand what’s going on right now.”

“What, the whole “it’s too late, you should stay over” thing? That’s the oldest trick in the book, not that it didn’t work.”

“Okay, look,” Kravitz breathed in, then out, and whatever was it that made it look like his eyes were glowing for a minute there was already gone. “I. Am. A. Cryptid,” Kravitz enunciated as clearly as possible.

Taako snorted. “Well, duh, I already figured you didn’t like to be around people, with this whole ‘living in the forest’ thing you’ve got going.”

“That’s not- God, this shouldn’t be so hard to explain.”

“No, no, trust me, I get it. Like, I’m an extrovert, but I totally see where you are coming from.”

“You are supposed to be scared now!,” Kravitz exclaimed.

“Ooh, why, are you going to eat me or some-”

Kravitz grabbed Taako by the collar of his shirt and _holy shit_ held him up against the wall. Taako’s back hit with a _thump_ , and all the air escaped from his lungs for a second. Taako didn’t have time to yelp before Kravitz was biting his neck.

Taako hissed. “ _Fuck_ ,” the sharp sensation overcame him. A mixture of pain and pleasure ran through his spine and warmed up his whole body. “I got a completely wrong  impression about of you.”

“You think?,” Kravitz said between bites. Sometimes, the feeling of teeth got replaced by tongue, but this one was _abnormally cold._ It surely was something he had never experienced before. And his voice, _god, Kravitz’s voice_ , was practically a low growl when he said, “ _I’m going to tear your limbs apart._ ”

“ _Yes_ ,” Taako moaned.

Kravitz stopped biting. “Oh my god.” Slowly, he put Taako down, let go of his hold on his shirt and looked at him, completely dumbfounded, “You actually are _into_ this?”

The first thing that came to Taako’s mind was a snarky comment, but then he saw the way Kravitz looked now, like he honestly couldn’t believe Taako, and he almost felt bad. In what universe a catch like Kravitz would doubt _anyone_ would like him?

So instead he reached for his face, holding it in both hands, and said in the calmest, not-desperately-horny voice he could muster, “Look, I get it must be hard living all by yourself in the middle of nowhere, and you sure seem to have… _a lot_ of pent up frustration.”

“I-I’m not-!

“ _Shh_ , it’s fine. Tell me, Kravitz, when was the last time you spent the night with someone else?”

Kravitz looked at the side. After a moment of thinking, he finally admitted, “I… don’t remember.”

That sounded like a long time. “I bet you get lonely, but a pretty face like yours deserves to have fun once in a while, don’t you think?”

For once, Kravitz didn’t know what to say to that.

Taako pulled him closer, so much that their faces were almost touching now. “You can be rough with me, my dude, I won’t break…” and then he added, in a low tone of voice, “unless you want to break me?”

It was Kravitz who closed the distance between them. Taako opened his mouth to him and felt the metallic taste of his tongue. He dropped his hold on Kravitz’s face to grab the front of his jacket and pull him closer. One of his legs brushed against Taako’s crotch, and they both realized then he was already half-hard.

“God,” Kravitz sighed, looking down at the tent forming under Taako’s skirt, “we are really doing this.”

Taako made Kravitz’s face him again, whispered, “Then don’t stop doing it,” and kissed him.

And that was it. Kravitz let go of whatever restraint he had left and picked up Taako again, this time by the hips, and pushed him against the wall. Taako instinctively held onto Kravitz’s shoulders while crossing his legs behind his back. By the time Kravitz started grinding against him, Taako was already a mess.

“Jesus, Krav, if you don’t fuck me now I’m gonna go crazy.”

Kravitz moaned against his mouth and somehow managed to slip his pants off with one hand while he held Taako up with the other. Taako tried to do the same with his own underwear, but even if he had the advantage of wearing a skirt it was taking him longer than he wanted. So Kravitz parted from the kiss -not before nibbling at Taako’s lower lip- and said, “I’ll do it.”

“My, what a gent-“ but he was interrupted by his own moaning when he felt Kravitz’s hand slip under his underwear and start fingering him. “Oh, fuck, Kravitz.”

Kravitz pushed him against the wall for more support, leaning into his ear and saying “God, I could still tear you apart right now.”

His fingers curled inside Taako and he hissed in pain and pleasure at the feeling of sharp nails digging inside of him. “I can take it, come on, don’t hold back.”

Kravitz pulled out, taking Taako’s underwear down his legs as he did, and finally, _finally_ thrusted inside. Taako screamed at the sudden feeling of fullness combined with the force of Kravitz’s movement.

“ _Fuck, ah, fuck, yes! That’s it, babe, don’t hold back._ ”

He didn’t. Kravitz thrusted in and out of him without restraint, Taako could feel that. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain. Taako’s mouth was hanging open as he moaned loudly with every push.

And Kravitz, _god_ , he wasn’t quiet either. His voice came low and rough against Taako’s ear, it was almost animalistic, and it was driving Taako nuts. “ _God,_ you like it so much, babe.”

“ _Yes_.”

“Will you, _hah,_ will you come for me?”

And while the stimulation was already pushing Taako towards the edge, Kravitz still said, “Not even close.”

Taako tried to hold it in as long as he could, but a few deep thrusts more was all it took for him to come. He rode his orgasm until it was over and then lumped forwards on Kravitz’s shoulder, still panting. Kravitz stopped as soon as Taako stopped moving with him.

“That’s it?” He panted.

“Don’t worry,” Taako said between breathes, “Give me a moment to catch my breath.”

But Kravitz didn’t. He bit on Taako’s neck again, the same spot he had already marked if the faint ache was a good indication. Taako cried in surprise, and then Kravitz was thrusting back into him.

“ _Fuck_ , wait, I just-“

“I thought you wanted me to be rough.” Kravitz thrusted slow and hard onto him, “You said you could take it.”

Taako gasped for air, but it was hard, he was still so sensitive after his orgasm and Kravitz wasn’t even giving him time to think.

“I told you,” Kravitz pulled out, “you should’ve been scared of me,” He thrusted in. “You already broken and I’m just getting started.”

And then he picked up the pace and everything in Taako’s mind went blank, everything around him was Kravitz, holding him, thrusting into him, biting his neck, and it hurt, but Taako was _clinging to that pain_. He felt his arousal build up inside of him again and all he could do was bury his fingers on Kravitz’s hair and moan incoherently against it.

Then, Kravitz started losing rhythm, his movements erratic against Taako, and both knew he was finally getting close.

“ _Yes_ ,” Taako managed to say.

“ _Taako_ ,” Kravitz growled, he was growling, how could he sound so _feral_.

“Come for me, babe…”

And then, Kravitz grabbed Taako’s hypersensitive cock and stroked him. A wave of pleasure and pain rushed through him, and he cried, moaned Kravitz’s name as he came a second time, and Kravitz followed after.

They stayed like that for a while; this time, Kravitz let Taako catch his breath after pulling out.

Kravitz carried Taako through the cabin to his dormitories, and maybe got them both clean at some point, but it could’ve been a dream, since Taako fell asleep the moment his body touched the mattress.

* * *

 

“Ugh… hurts…”

The next morning, as expected, Taako couldn’t move. If it was because of the hike, or the _very rough very hot_ sex, he couldn’t tell; he was a good mix of sore limbs and aches.

But it was a nice kind of pain, the one he was glad to endure with the endorphin rush that came after a night of good sex, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t at least get out of bed to get dressed and- ouch _OUCH nope his muscles were burning why did he ever think hiking was a good idea._

Kravitz’s curious head poked through the door frame. “I heard screaming, you okay?”

“I’ll be,” he grunted. “I’m just in terrible shape and dying- Jesus, man, is that blood?!”

Kravitz’s hands, chest, and some of his cheek were covered in red like some dramatic horror film. He looked them over like he didn’t notice and just blinked. “Oh! This is raspberry juice. I was mashing some to make jam.”

Taako fell back the bed and laughed. “Ha, ha, whoops. For a minute there I thought you just slayed a poor creature of the forest and ate it.”

That actually seemed to disgust Kravitz. “I don’t _eat_ them.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were vegan.”

“I’m not, but this is a protected area. I only eat the meat of… _invasive_ species.”

Taako rolled to his side in a seductive pose (which was hard to do when every cell of your body was drowning in lactic acid). “Like a pretty tourist?”

Kravitz opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “I still don’t know if you are skeptical or just pulling my hair.”

“Hm, hair pulling. That’s something we didn’t get to try last night.”

Kravitz coughed, “I’ll make some breakfast. You should get dressed.”

An hour later, Taako was walking out of the cabin. “Are you sure you can’t come? What if I get lost?” He asked Kravitz with his best pout.

“You won’t get lost, the path is pretty straight forward.”

“Fine, but I’ll come back later. I still need that shot of the cascade at sunset.”

Kravitz laughed, “Of course, for your Tube, right?”

“You are adorable, Krav. Never let those nasty city folk ruin you.” Taako winked, “Though I guess I already did.”

A blush crept up through Kravitz’s face, but he was smiling this time. “It’s fine. It was… good.”

“Only good?”

Kravitz laughed. “The best sex I’ve had in a while.”

“That makes two of us.”

“And I might’ve gotten a little carried away. I didn’t know I needed that, so… yeah.”

Taako made finger guns and pointed them at Kravitz. “Whenever you want, hot stuff.” He pulled out his phone, dragging the aluminum paper he had stuffed inside the day before and dropping it to the floor.

“Whoops,” Taako just picked it up. “Gotta take care of that when I get to the hotel. See ya!”

And it seemed to Taako like Kravitz had gone still for a second, but he blinked and he looked normal again. Taako waved him goodbye, already looking forward to that photo shoot at sunset.

* * *

 

We see a picture of Taako taken with a selfie camera. On one hand he’s holding a cereal bar, covering some of the beautiful background like it was the actual focus of the photo. Trees, bushes, and even a cascade can be seen far away.

But if we look closer, behind the snack, right next the lower corner, part of a strange creature’s silhouette can be seen. Although it's mostly black, like a shadow, there are two small red dots on what appear to be its face.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't feel bad for pointing out any mistakes I might've made! I'm still learning English. <3
> 
> If you want to request something, hmu on vampirekravitz @ tumblr


End file.
